i’ve never been good with change
at least not while i’ve been in the middle of it
for me, change is terrifying, uncomfortable and it stresses me out.
99% of the time
change is always good
i can never see it when i am in it
but when i reach the other side, i wonder why i didn’t do things sooner
there are a lot of changes going on in my life right now
and all of them are scary
just too much too fast.
i have been in contemplation mode for a while
i’ve been dealing with an incredible amount of stress
and the only way i know how to deal with it
is to just sweat it out.
i live by the water
it is breathtakingly gorgeous here
i put on my runners, and off i go.
i either run a couple of miles, or i walk
i go on all the trails on the waterfront
and every time i do, i am in awe…as if it’s the first time i’ve been there.
these trails, this place has been my home for almost 2 decades
this is my home
and knowing that i am leaving brings me an incredible amount of sadness.
lately, mid run…i feel my eyes filling with tears…and i cry
i don’t want to leave
and yet i do
and i am going somewhere far better
somewhere i can start over
start planning a new life and new goals
there will be waterfront trails
just ones that do not know me
there will be new memories
and once i get there i know for certain
i will wonder why i waited so long
don’t get me wrong
i am excited. more than excited
i can’t wait to get outta dodge.
but lately it makes me so sad
this is a huge change,
but i need to remember, this time…change is good.